Bret Has Jokes
Happy Birthday, Pops
On this day in 19coughcough (yes, I know the year, I just don’t want to give it away), the greatest man I’ve ever known was born. I can’t really say that it was a day that changed my life – because I wasn’t born yet – but the events of that day are still sculpting the man I’m becoming.
If I had paid more attention to him I’d have a job, and if I had a job I’d buy him an expensive bottle of Scotch. In its place I’ll just offer my thanks (he told me it’s the thought that counts, anyway). Besides, I’m not 100% sure he drinks Scotch.
A Quick Question
Chad Ochocinco Playing for the Crew? No Thanks.
As some of you may have heard, Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco was on FSC’s Soccer Talk Live recently where he stated his desire to play pro soccer, maybe as early as next season. He even went so far as to compare himself to Didier Drogba. When asked about his foot speed, Chad said that there “is not one person in soccer right now who would beat me running,” including FC Barcelona’s Lionel Messi. Ochocinco says that he warms up before his NFL practices and games with a soccer ball, dribbling around for a bit, to help him with his footwork.
Chad even tweeted, to the Columbus Crew, that he’ll “be trying out soon” and asked what he needs to do, presumably to earn a spot on the team.
Chad is, without question, one of the greatest athletes the NFL has ever seen. He is also, without question, a huge fan of soccer. He has been seen at numerous games, and is known to be good friends with Red Bull New York’s Theirry Henry, and even used to travel to London during the NFL offseason to watch Henry play for Arsenal.
As the soccer media and fans react to Chad’s comments, some fans are starting a grassroots movement to bring Chad to the Crew. I, personally, don’t think this is a good idea, even assuming that he is a good enough soccer player to make the team. Here’s why:
1) Chad Ochocinco is not a soccer player. Right now Ochocinco is 32 years old and has been playing football, either at the college or pro level, for 13 years. The highest level of soccer he has played was youth leagues (Chad says he committed himself to football full-time when he got to high school). He just doesn’t have the experience to play at the pro level, no matter how much soccer he watches. The greats, like Chad’s buddy Henry, didn’t gain their knowledge and feel for the game, or their field vision, just by watching on TV or from the stands. They had to play for years and years in order to become great.
Fear the Vest
It’s TBDBITL. It’s Brutus. It’s the ‘Shoe. It’s St. John Arena. It’s Archie, Woody and Sloopy. It’s Dotting the “i.” It’s Lane, High and Olentangy. It’s Chimes, Carmen, Script and the Ramp Entrance. It’s Gold Pants, Buckeye Leaves and the Vest. It’s THE Ohio State University and It’s Buckeye Football Season.
Flip a Coin
Late-Summer Cleaning
